How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. And how does one make his way to the main stage at Ultra Music Festival? A couple million bucks and a long history of causing heart disease and diabetes should do the trick. On Friday, prior to sets from Tiësto and Marshmello, a DJ wearing an oversized Colonel Sanders head took the stage and assaulted the audience with “music” accompanied by poorly timed chicken references. Maybe KFC should have sponsored the chaotic mass exodus instead. As people begged to get off Virginia Cay, KFC should have had videos of Colonel Sanders telling crying fans “I don’t have a shuttle for you, but I do know something that’s finger-licking good!” Practically sells itself. Fail on Ultra Music Festival. Fail on.